I have been in this job a long time. When I first got here, I was only one of a handful of women.
It was difficult being female in a 'man's' domain... Yeah, yeah, I hear you fellers out there sighing and rushing to reach for the mouse so you don't have to hear about how inequitable things were... but before you go, know this. The ambo role is becoming a womans domain.. the tides are turning, and now there are 1.5 females joining to every male. The uni courses are 3:2 in favour of women. Paramedics is the new 'Nursing'.
I got responded to back up a crew.. they were 50 kms away, and doing CPR according to the radio update. I heard the patient had been driving to hospital and arrested.. the first crew on scene were treating.. it didn't sound good. A full resus, in a car, in the middle of the night, on the road, 50kms from hospital. Occassionally I get a bad feeling on the way to a job. This was one of those days.
I pulled up to find the rear doors of the ambulance open, the flouro blazing as a diminutive female paramedic pumped up and down on this mountain of a man's chest. From the drivers seat, it did not look good. I alighted my vehicle in awe of the ambos who'd managed to get this enormous man from the drivers seat of his car, to the stretcher, and loaded into the ambo. They were doing their best, breathing for him, and pumping his heart for him... but he wasn't responding. He had IV access, but no response to 5 doses of heart starting adrenalin. If this had have been a hollywood movie, he would have been sitting up, smiling and shaking our hands by now... but this wasn't... and he wasn't... and then I noticed his wife.
She was tiny, scared looking, like one of this timid native marsupials. She was pale in the light of the van, and shaking. She tried talking, her mouth moving, but the words didn't come out. She was frightened. In shock. I glanced again at the crew working on the patient and decided to turn my attention to this woman, this bird. Are you related to him? I asked. I tried to be gentle, almost whisper the question... but at these times it is paramount to consider the patients rights to privacy, and respect the law.
'Yes, he's my husband, Jim' she said. I looked back at the ambulance, I read the crews faces and decided to break the news to this woman. 'It's not looking good for Jim', I said. As soon as I said it, I regretted it, and this woman, this wife collapsed into my arms. It is a hard job sometimes. It's hard to be professional, cold. It's hard to break the news... and it's hard to pass on the info that we have no hand in dealing.
Jim and his wife were holidaying. Their first break away together, without the kids, in 20 years. They were learning to love each other again and were just starting to relax into their 6 week holiday. Jim had been feeling so good, that he had decided he didn't need his medication anymore. His life saving medication and as a result he died that day.
I often see things that make me race home at the end of the shift and grab my kids and hug them so tight, they complain. This was one of those days.
No comments:
Post a Comment