ASD.. Don't know what it is... Just ask me, I'm an expert!

I know a lot of autistic adults.. in fact, you might call me an expert on them....

Since moving to a more rural setting some time ago, I have noticed the prevalence of Autistic Spectrum Disorder amongst my 'peers'...  Obviously these folk haven't been formally diagnosed... but with my extensive experience I can spot 'em at 50 paces.

ASD is typically characterised by a number of 'issues',
1/ social interaction
2/communication
3/restricted, repetitive or stereotyped behaviour interests and activities

The majority of people I have worked beside 'in the country' have fallen into this definition.

I have been asked to move an ambulance eight (8) times, only to end up back where I parked it in the first place, and when I had the audacity to roll my eyes and ask, 'Where would you like it?' (I had several dark, anatomical places in mind!) the person barking the orders adopted a sarcastic tone and said, "What do you think?"

What do I think?  What do I think?  I think where I had it parked in the first place was best.  It was easy to get the stretcher in and out, it was safe, and it was 10 feet away... that's what I think! But instead, knowing I was dealing with yet ANOTHER undiagnosed ASD sufferer, I just replied, "Whatever's easiest for you, buddy!"... I even had the patients husband come up to me and tell me to 'just do what he says as 'some men are ALWAYS right!'... Embarrassing?  A bit... but I am getting used to it.

Another colleague felt he had to tell me to 'slow down' on the freeway.. it was a straight bit of road, daylight, dry and I was doing 120kms... He was male and I am not... Clearly 3/ Stereotyped behaviour.

Lately I have been working with the 'Barker'.  I am not to interact with the patients at all... I am to 'Get the Bed'.  'Get the bag'.  or 'Get ready to go'.  This suits me fine, except when I am supposed to be attending to the patient and writing up the paper work!  

Things are just done differently when isollated.  Drugs go out of date, people forget their manners and common place checks are ignored.  A Station Officer once told me not to replace a half empty oxygen cylinder, "Patients need VENTILATION NOT OXYGENATION", he had said. ( WTF???????)

I worked with a couple of 'instructors'.  Both were amongst the most uncommunicative people I have ever met.  I asked for clarification on a couple of clinical issues, and was told to 'look it up'.  Another, I asked where the shoe polish was, and he took it as an opportunity to put me down in front of a couple of other peers.  It made me feel small.  Obviously, he was compensating for something!

What goes around comes around.  Do you ever find yourself wondering what sort of childhoods people had?  If my instincts are correct, they are a motley bunch with bad histories....

Thats the kind of person this job attracts.  The moody, objectionable, sometimes helpful and loyal types.  It is a fine job.  And it takes ALL types to get it done right, most of the time.   

  

The 'EMERGENCY' services...

I got pulled over for speeding the other day...  Most days, if travelling in uniform, the copper normally smiles and gives you a warning.  But yesterday, I was not in uniform.  I WAS travelling home from a long shift, and I had my mind on getting there quickly... I must have subliminally sent that message to my accelerator foot.. and then there was a black car right up my tukus.. and then I saw the lights flashing... 

I pulled over on the verge of the highway.. nose in to protect the officer from passing traffic.  He informed me of my alleged speed.  I squirmed.  I always feel guilty when talking to our states finest... Even though I am a boring, obedient citizen.  I tried to think up an excuse.  I hesitated over my work I.D, hoping he'd notice I was an ambo and let me off.  No, this time I was gonna cop a fine.  And then he walked to the front of my car, and I couldn't see him for a moment.  In that instant a brief flash of relief as I pictured an unconscious, uniformed man in front of my car... one I could reverse away from and skip the fine... One I could administer life saving techniques on, and skip a fine... One I could... and then he stood up. Damn!

'Your tyres are bald, unsafe.  I have to issue you with a defect notice', he gloated.  
'Asshole', I thought.  My poor car had travelled many, many kilometres in the name of duty, and had hit several roos, magpies and a wombat.  I have been saving for a new car for a while, so when my partner offered to repair the front light with cable ties and 100mile tape, why would I object???  I was starting to regret my 'thriftiness'.. 

'Please, please, please don't make me get a road worthy,' I prayed to a God I don't believe in.  

'Just 2 tyres this time', the wonderful officer said.  I coulda kissed him.

Today I went to get the new, secondhand tyres. (Did I mention how thrifty I am?)  The small town tyre joint couldn't fit 2 tyres til next week.  I was horrified.  I had hoped I could get the defect notice taken off my car before the weekend road trip I had planned.  I gave my best smile, and 'come to bed' eyes (usually reserved for my hubby on Saturday nights)... but this tyre fitter was made of stone! 

'Not til Tuesday' he said.  

"No worries- just don't expect me to drop everything for you if you need ME, one day when I am working!" I thought...  I am like an elephant that way... never forget!  To his face I just smiled and thanked him anyway.

I coasted around to the other tyre place in Smalltown.  The dusty old manager there was more than happy to help me out.  He found two secondhandies, and sent me to Vicroads to make the appointment for the inspection.  Appointment made, tyres replaced, defect removed.

Life is GOOD! (And I WILL NEVER, EVER TAKE morning tea to Smalltown copshop EVER again!